Ditapo

Well, I never did get around to doing that EOY reflection for last year, and unfortunately it seems like I’ve already forgotten most of what would have wanted to go down. So I’ll get down to what remains of that first.

The year was on the whole a pretty positive one which did see steady improvements in some areas throughout. Hard work is unsurprisingly a good policy to live by in just all about all respects. Academically, it was a wonderful turnout on all fronts, and my many years in the Singapore education system has been put on hold at the moment with the appropriate letters this year. No IPS, a pity, but can’t really complain. The class as a whole has also gotten much closer, perhaps an effect of having a classroom to be in most of the time, and that too has been a nice positive improvement. Been picking up the books again, and of course, A Brief History of Time has been an excellent read. Just some points to consolidate what I still remember of the year, I guess.

• Hard work, when all else fails, will still be worth something. Some things just don’t go out of style.
• It’s been nice getting to know you, each and every one of you, and I do hope that things stay that way, and not simply head south.
• Be bold, have courage and have faith to try even that which you believe may not work, because ultimately if you don’t, it will be too late and the chance is gone.

More recently, BMT has been a largely enjoyable experience. Making new friends and doing new things, that just doesn’t really get old. Random encounters along the way, chatting with people you don’t know and will never see again, has been interesting aside from the scheduled events such as shooting (Fun!), Hand grenade (Watching C4 detonate is cool) and Fieldcamp (Outfield KFC!). Now, moving on to the next phase has become a pleasant surprise, and presents much opportunities, to make up for what I’ve missed before, and to enrich myself, I suppose. It also moves towards accomplishing goals 1 (Don’t die and don’t get permanant injuries) and 2 (Have a meaningful time and/or have the time to make it meaningful). So I believe that this will be a great opportunity, moving forward, despite what I might miss out on otherwise. Some brief goals to work at in this time -

• Learn to make music again
• Learn to draw again
• Read voraciously once more
• Learn to love again
• LEARN.

The pursuit  of pursuits is such a wonderful thing, is it not?

Moving on, the various interviews and related processes undergone recently have been a refreshing change and learning point relative to the general drone of BMT. Needing to think feels good. Where success has been an absent companion for me before in such situations, I think the increased experience has been of use at present and into the future, and might have helped my speaking as well, which some say has gone awry of late. Most certainly, I do hope that a degree of luck will supplement the effort put in herein, leading to a measure of success at this stage.

Hopefully the year continues to look up, despite the economy and all that, and that I will be able to take full advantage of the opportunities that might come by. There isn’t much consolation in being just not good enough. Forward, with pride and into glory. All the best.

It’s the end of the year, again. Time sure has flown by like nobody’s business. This year, especially seems to have gone by with exceptional speed. Perhaps then, it would be time to reflect, like the image suggests, on the year past in all it’s (un)glory.

In essence, this year has sadly been nothing much short of a disappointment, though there have been some minor high points along the way. In acadamia, maybe I haven’t been trying hard enough, or too easily distracted, but there is definitely much room for improvement, especially in Econs and GP. Especially disappointing after having spent two ’successful’ years with 4R. Writing abilities and techniques seem to have just vaporised just like the class spirit and atmosphere, though it is highly likely that they share a cause(latter) and effect relationship. Don’t really know how to fix it though, and worst come to worst, will try to sheer brute force hardwork. Chem and Maths are only going to get harder, meaning that next year should be a year of hardcore work. Should actually stick to that idea too, rather than slacking my way through, as I’m wont to, and end up setting myself up for even greater disapopintments again. Doing well for Physics was a minor high, though much more work wil be needed in the coming year to keep it up, as well as to try and grasp this H3 which I’ve committed myself to. Going for Phys O was interesting too, though should most certainly have done better, for second round and more. Still, at least it wasn’t total disappointment, as it might’ve been had I failed even selection. Should’ve tried harder for Chem O though, oh well.

On the social front is where the disappointments have been greater, on a personal level at least. A thousand new people to know, and I spectecularly fail to make proper new friends. This old malaise is really going to come and bite me in the ass one day, or maybe it already has. A couple dozen more acquaintances, but what do most of those count for? We’ve all seen how well that has worked out in the past. Definitely not to say, or course, that it has been in no way my fault, or not for want of trying. Could have done a lot more to help myself in this respect, but once again, I don’t really know what to do. I don’t know how to make small talk, or maybe it’s just that I feel uncomfortable with making conversation with the intent of moving the relationship beyond acquaintance mode, or overawed by their presence. I really don’t know. And people who I would like to get to know better, some which i have been trying to for years, don’t really seem to want to talk. So I don’t know. Really. It’s one thing to say this same (similar) thing from time to time, and another to try and fix it, and I do try, sometimes, but mostly I guess I just don’t have the guts. Regardless, it is an eventuality that somehow, someday, someway, I’m going to have to change and break this.

Away from school, and there hasn’t been much to be said. a pity that I missed Vietnam, though the attachment has been an interesting experience, for all it’s been worth. The recent trip up North has been experienceful, and at least a relaxing break, more importantly a long overdue change in scenery from the local setting. The countdown tomorrow might be nice too. Guess there really hasn’t been much int hsi respects to say, though more English reading would’ve been nice. Gotta find something/someone good to read one of these days.

Looking to the year ahead, in light of this year of disappointment, there can probably only be a few points to be said.

• Work hard
• Be Friendlier
• Work hard
• Have a more positive outlook
• Word hard.

Well then, that’s a wrap. Goodbye 2007. It’s been nice knowing you, and in spite of everything, it’s a little hard to set time behind and move on. Onwards, regardless, and a happy 2008 to me.

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die, because they are never going to be born. The number of people who could be here in my place outnumbers the sand grains of Sahara. If you think about all the different ways our genes could be permuted, you and I are quite grotesquely lucky to be here: the number of events that had to happen in order for you to exist, in order for me to exist. We are privileged to be alive and we should make the most of our time on this world. 

-Richard Dawkins

We may not trust, but then we may not know. What is time, but a meaningless meandering of moments given foundation and shape through sullen discipline? What is reality, but the ephemeral essence of the mind’s eye, given recognition through that want to believe. There may be no spoons, but if we don’t believe, there may be nothing at all, and it might be better to be wrong and to live, than to be right and to not exist.

Everybody’s talkin’ ’bout the new sound
Funny, but it’s still rock and roll to me

<3 indeed.

Man, I’ve missed seeing ya. Was nice to see you again, really, though you probably won’t ever read this.

Would’ve thought that by this time there’d been enough people who I should know but I don’t waving at me

Turns out I was wrong.

Whee.

Aforementioned aside, must also not object to

on the hood. Yay.

Bored, sick, and about to get totally owned.

Life’s been looking down lately, sure could do with some excitement or joy, especially joy, as I go from day to failing day, looking at the horizon of nothingness, and then off the edge of the world into despair.

I guess I sure could use a Jupiter now, or at least a Venus, but that’s probably outside the grand ol’ PPC of life by now. Hell I hate that thing. Ever shrinking till it’ll just be a singularity. Bloody hell.

They say when you reach the bottom, there’s no way to go but up. I sure hope life doesn’t have an excavator. Would really hate to be a groundbreaker where this is concerned.

清明时节雨纷纷，自觉情绪涨万分。

(more…)

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together

And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

I seriously hope so… Miss you people lots already =(

I think it’s more or less decided that I should go and try. If they must insist on eviction then so be it I guess, rather than depriving myself of that chance again.  I do very much want to have both though, yet the ‘rule of law’ must be followed eh? ‘Just Follow Law’ indeed.

Of course, some from my favourite inspirational writing

Labour and learn in pursuit of your dreams,
The best things in life are all upstream,
What you put in, is what you get,
Pain of discipline beats regret.

Life is too long not to do well,
If you do not try, it’s a living hell,
So play out your hand, enjoy the ride,
Don’t live to regret, for not having tried.

So yea. Good luck to me, and hopefully let the path lead me somewhere sensible and good.

A reason for living, a deeper meaning…

I sure hope I get in, though I think it’s quite sad that I can’t help but be honest to a fault whenever things come to a head like this… Damn… Seriously want in.

“Even the little guy can cast a big shadow once he’s found his place in the sun”

“We can never make the same dumb mistake twice. The first time we make it the mistake is dumb. The second time the mistake makes us dumb”

And yet… bah. getting dumber and dumberer.